How to Reconnect with Your Inner Guidance When Fear Holds You Back with Julie Reisler

Navigating life’s twists and turns can be challenging, but one constant remains: our internal guidance or intuition. That inner voice nudges us during quiet moments and has the power to transform our lives if we are willing to listen.

In this episode, I sit down with the incredible Julie Reisler, master coach, intuitive guide, and founder of the Intuitive Life Designer Coach Academy. Julie is one of my mentors and has played a significant role in helping me become the coach I am today.

Here’s what you’ll learn:

• How to distinguish the difference between intuition and fear (and how to know the difference.)  
• Practical tools for connecting with your inner guidance, such as pendulums and body awareness.
• What spiritual bypassing is and how to identify when you are engaging in it.
• How to change your level of consciousness and develop a different way of being. 
• Ways to cultivate more loving kindness towards ourselves when we start comparing ourselves to others.
• Strategies for managing uncertainty and not questioning what’s next when everything feels unclear. 
• A tip to help you navigate the holidays with more love and less stress.

If you are ready to tune into your spiritual messages so you can embrace your next chapter or simply feel more connected to yourself, this episode is packed with wisdom and practical advice.

And don’t forget to wait for Julie’s confession at the end - It brings us full circle!

With love,

Laurie

These guides will help you take the next step in life. 

Click here to sign-up for my local in-person vision board workshop. 

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Click here for my FREE “Somatic Healing for Beginners Guide”

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Click here to purchase my book: Sandwiched: A Memoir of Holding On and Letting Go

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Website

About Julie:

Julie’s website

Julie’s upcoming Intuitive Life Designer Coach Academy Certification

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DISCLAIMER: THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL, MEDICAL OR PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT A LICENSED THERAPIST IF YOU ARE EXPERIENCING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE. YOU SHOULD CONTACT A LICENSED MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL WITH RESPECT TO ANY MEDICAL ISSUE OR PROBLEM.

Transcript

Laurie James  
Hey, there, Free Birds, I have a couple quick announcements that you won't want to miss, so do not hit fast forward right now for all my local Free Birds, I have my annual vision board Day coming up on january 18, Saturday, and I am running a special right now, just through Friday, December 6. So sign up today for that, and don't forget to check out all my free guides that I have down in the show notes. And lastly, my friend, mentor and guest today. Julie riesler is a master coach and founder of Intuitive Life designer coach Academy certification program. She is getting ready to start her 12th cohort on january 30 of 2025 and she's offering an early bird pricing special for you before December 31 I worked with Julie one on one a year and a half ago, and am part of her monthly program called sanctuary. I interviewed several master coaches and felt that Julie was in alignment with me and truly had my best interest at heart. She's really helped me become the coach I am today. Her Intuitive Life designer coach Academy Certification Program is a comprehensive four month program that I recommend. This extensive and experiential, integrative life coach certification training will build your confidence, intuition and empower you with the specific tools, methodology and proven steps you need to create a coaching practice that changes lives and enhances your spiritual connection. It is also an incredible healing experience in itself, even if you don't want to become a certified coach, there is so much growth that happens when you go through a transformational coaching program like Julie's. So if you're ready to learn more, click the life designer coach Academy certification program. Link in the show notes, you won't regret it and enjoy my conversation with Julie. 

Laurie James  
Welcome to Confessions of a Freebird podcast. I'm your host. Laurie James, a mother, divorcee, a recovering caregiver, the author of Sandwiched A Memoir of Holding on and Letting go, a therapy junkie, relationship coach, somatic healer and now podcaster, I'm a free spirit, and here to lift you up on this podcast, I'll share soulful confessions and empowering conversations with influential experts so you can learn to spread your wings and make the most of your second half. So pop in those earbuds, turn up the volume, and let's get inspired, because my mission is to help you create your most joyful, purpose driven life, one confession at a time. 

Laurie James  
Hello there, free birds. Today I'm honored to have my guest Julie Reisler back for a second time. Julie is such a beautiful soul, one of my earliest guests I had when I started my podcast and a mentor of mine. Julie is an intuitive guide and master manifestation coach, mentor to many coaches, creatives and leaders, and speaks about the power of self, love, spirituality and intuition as a healing path. Julie is the host of the USU podcast, which I have been honored to be a guest on. It is a global show in over 175 countries. And the author of get a PhD in you an Amazon top pick. Julie has been featured in Forbes Mind Body green the Chopra center, bustle, thrive global. And her work as a coach, teacher and conscious business leader, and is a multi time TED speaker. Julie holds a master's degree in health and wellness coaching from Maryland University of integrative health, and is a professor at Georgetown University in the coaching program. Julie is also the founder of the intuitive life designer coach Academy, which is about to start in the 11th cohort. Is that right? Both cohorts? Well, cohort, congratulations this January. So welcome back, Julie. Thank you so much for being here with me.

Julie Reisler  
Oh my gosh, Laurie. I love you. I love your energy. I'm so excited for this conversation. Thank you for having me back this. So fun, excited.

Laurie James  
So you eat, breathe and speak, spirituality, intuition. Can you just tell our listeners a little bit about how you became the spiritual guide and intuitive teacher. When did that transition happen for you?

Julie Reisler  
You know, it's a really, really good question. My brain and I'm like, okay, Julie, don't tell your whole life story here, because we'll be here for hours. So you know, if you asked my best friend since I was five years old, Meg, who's in Boston, shout out to her. She would tell you that I've been this way since I was younger. You know, I was always into anything mystical, magical, spiritual was even what she would call psychic when I was younger. And I don't really, I blocked this out, you know, I would actually say it's not quite as it doesn't feel quite as enchanting as that on this end, so for me, really finding this depth of connection to the divine, to God, to spirituality, I actually would say came out of a really, really challenging time and that, you know, we all have our Earth school curriculum. I really believe that we each come here with our own individuated curriculum that we're going to be learning here on the earth plane. And for me, that door opened when I had enough with I was really struggling with addiction, specifically around actually food and overeating and binging, sometimes under eating, but typically the overeating sugar. It was like a way to cope and not feel feelings and just block things. And I came from a family with a lot of addiction as well. Both my sister, who's recovering alcoholic, my parents, both, you know, struggled with dad, with PTSD as a Vietnam veteran, and food addiction my mom as well. And it just was a way of, I think, showing love, but also, you know, blocking feelings and not having to deal. So for me, I was in a really low point early, early in 2003 and found myself like really contemplating, do I stay on this planet? Do I not? I mean, it was that bad, and you would never have known that Lori, which is, I think a lot of us cover and people pleasing and put a mask on. And so for me, my portal started. My entry started in the 12 step program, which is a spiritual program. It's all about, you know, finding a power greater than yourself. And I have found so much from there. I've also from that point, did I just started to excavate myself. I began to read books like Julia Cameron's The Artist's Way, who's also, you know, a recovering alcoholic, and then other works like Byron Katie. And I found myself in a personal development program that really just shifted my perspective, which led me into coaching and the program I'm in, you know, I had the master's degree, I did, and the next thing I knew, I started to see that it's the opposite of what we think. The more I surrendered, the more I let go of me and my will and ego and smaller self. The most interesting thing happened. It was like my life started to shift for the better. It didn't always look that way. I mean, I got divorced, I left a corporate job, I was a single mom, but something shifted. I started to feel different. I started to feel like I was being carried and guided. And that probably I would say, you know, 2008 2009 is when that began to happen, and led me to really jump and pray, and that would appear, and I started, you know, my own business 10 years ago, and just haven't looked back. And so, yeah, there's much more to say. But for me, this is a, you know, you've probably heard the one day at a time. It's really a daily connection to God, to source, to the universe every day, and I try to tap in as often as possible, because I know me getting in my own way doesn't work well. So it's- 

Laurie James  
we're really good at that too.

Julie Reisler  
Oh yeah, yeah, absolutely, oh yeah, oh yes.

Laurie James  
So you have built this incredibly beautiful spiritual practice and business, a spiritual and intuitive business and a podcast, what would you say has been the hardest shift for you as you have pivoted into you really like a 180 

Julie Reisler  
I think there's two different levels to that. Both of them have been challenges and vulnerability. I think the first one is blatant and obvious for probably, I bet anyone listening, we live in a very hyper left brain over achieving ambitious culture where it's about, you know, words. Like, I'm gonna crush it and make this happen, and I'm pushing and I'm striving, and as somebody who you know fell right into that, I mean-

Laurie James  
I'm gonna make a million bucks, whatever it is. 

Julie Reisler  
Yeah, you know, I was really primed for this growing up in the Boston area where, like every university you can just, let's put it that way, like doing well in school was really important, and then doing really well in your job in life, and I got really good at okay, I'm just gonna strive. I'm a conscientious person, so I'm gonna make this happen. And to tell you the truth, it's funny, because what did I think Einstein say? Like, the level of consciousness you're at is not the same one that you need to have a change. To change your life, you've got to come from a new place of thinking, I would actually say, a way of being. And I started to see, you know, through health issues, through exhaustion, through nervous system reaction, like that way of living, it does not work. And so this was, I look back now, I'm like, wow, that was that was pretty courageous. I followed my inner guidance. I left my corporate job. I was a single mom at the time. I had a stable paycheck, and I left it because I kept getting and hearing and knowing I've got to be doing other things in the world, and I have chosen, most of the time, probably 97% of the time, to really follow my internal guidance, to follow the divine intuition guidance, and that is a different way of being, because that means I don't always push and strive. I don't always know what's next. If you had told me in the beginning I was gonna you know you were reading the bio like I didn't know I wanted to do a TEDx talk. I didn't know that would happen. I didn't know about a podcast. I didn't know I'd be starting a coaching certification that came to me in the beginning of 2020, when things were changing and but it's learning how to decipher as well my ego fear versus what they call good, orderly direction, right? God, the divine, and that is something I have learned to do, and I now teach, because I just think it's our superpower. 

Laurie James  
Yeah, so are there some basic or beginning steps that you can share with our listeners that can help them? Because, I mean, I know fear has kept me stuck for many years. I I still notice it. You know, when I want to try something new, or I'm offering a new class or workshop, or whatever it is, I notice and I know how to work through it myself. But what advice do you have for our listeners? 

Julie Reisler  
Yeah, and I actually really quick. We'll just mention, I think I'd said two things. The second thing really fast, because this is important, you know, allowing myself to really dive into spiritual teachings. I had left a marriage good person of a certain religion, where it was like, This is what we do. And so for me to allow myself, I have found, for example, A Course in Miracles is like my it's like water for my soul. I just it's not easy. It's simple, but not easy. It's a very powerful way of healing your mind. And I've just fell in in love with it. I mean, it's, it's life changing, and, you know, to allow myself to get into these spiritual truths that feel right to me, that at one point, not from my family of origin, very open, but coming from a different background with where, when I was married, it took a lot for me to just like, let that go and say, I'm just going to see where my intuition leads me. And it led me to these teachings, you know, to other similar teachings, then eventually to the course. And so having that kind of just trust and faith, which goes beautifully to your question, you know, and how do you know when it's your intuition or when it's fear ego? I think this actually very simple answer, and the way that you can start to tell is by how you feel. So our body gives us the answer, you know, you tune in. You do this as a somatic expert. You tune in. So every time I have gotten a you call it a download, a knowing, a guidance. Whether I do hear it, I sometimes see it, I feel it, I know it. It comes in different ways, but it's always got a very simple, clear there's a loving aspect to it, and there's never any like fear or shouting or yelling or shaming like none of that energy. Now, some of the things that I've experienced and heard are very hard to digest. I won't get into the whole story, but I knew when I was separated and divorced, I had a very, very specific, intuitive download about that it was hard to hear myself. Conscious Higher Self spoke to me. It was very hard to hear, however, when I got that message, it was said in a loving and very clear way. There was no shaming or guilt. Anytime there's yelling or guilt or shaming, or you feel that kind of like I didn't do this, right? Or I shouldn't have done that, or you need to do this, or to me, you know now you are in the world of fear or ego. You're in that world.

Laurie James  
And I think for me, and what I talk to my clients about is that intuition comes in when we are in a calm, centered place, right? If that intuition does not come after, you know, a heightened conversation with somebody, or a nasty email that you just received, that's not your intuition, that's most likely your ego trying to protect you, or a protective part of you, right? And I know for me, I've overridden my intuition. I overrode it for years out of fear of leaving my own marriage, which took me so long. And I've said this on past podcasts, and we'll probably say it in future, but I had that moment. My moment was I was lying in bed crying for the probably 100th time, and my download was, if you stay in this marriage, your soul will wither away and die, you know. And and the next morning was when I had tried several times before, but it was in that moment I was like, Okay, I have to do something, because I'm not going to let my soul wither away and die. I have so much more life to live. I feel like I have more to offer. I want to go and see and do things and experience things, and I have four daughters that you know, what kind of example am I going to be for my children if I just play small and stay out of fear and be miserable? That's not an example.

Julie Reisler  
Absolutely. It's interesting what you were saying for me. And I think at that point there was so much stress. I had an, you know, new baby, and so my higher self, my intuition, woke me up in the middle of the night. And I think, you know, if you look at it, I was sleeping, which is when we sleep, we are resetting. And that's what, what woke me up. I had to kind of be in that state to hear it, and it was really intense. And that's where look the deciphering the message. That's where you might want a coach, a therapist, somebody to work, a friend, somebody that. That is where I got support after but when you hear it, like when you heard that Lori, I know for me, it was a similar message, like, you are just really not okay here anymore. You can't this is not working. It was so clear, it was so true. It's like I had been hiding it from myself. And I think for many of us, probably many of us women, I can't speak for all women, and I'm sure there's some men too, but I know for many of us women where, you know, especially of a certain vintage, like to be a certain you know, be kind, be nice, like, be the big one. I don't know. I just all of those aspects. So I just assumed, okay, like, I just need to, it's probably me is the issue versus actually, it's just not workable. And that's okay. It's really important to start to notice everyone. We all have intuition. We're all born with it. We can all connect to it in different our own, different ways. Of course, being you know, working on settling your nervous system, having time for quiet, meditation, peace, tuning in is going to help for me today. I mean, it comes in all different ways. It's pretty amazing. It's like getting, you know when you like old school GPS, or like when you put in, you know where you're going. It's like the universe. I mean, I use this to tell me where to go next, what to do. It's literally my instructions. 

Laurie James  
And do you tap into that on a daily basis, or, just like, on an as needed basis, or do you kind of ask for guidance, like every morning, or, you know, as your spiritual practice. 

Julie Reisler  
So I am somebody who's like, I don't want to miss the guidance. So it's so funny, I do. I do all of it. I do. And some days, you know, I you don't, don't have time. Yeah, sometimes, what I'll always say is, please help me to be a channel for the highest good. Please help me to hear your will. You know not My will, yours be done. Please help me to be able to hear, to feel, to see, whatever is the higher message, like, I'm here, I'm open, I'm willing use me. That's like the. Basics, and then I have different tools that I use. We've done this together. I keep a pendulum on my desk. I do muscle testing. I constantly am doing intuitive writing. I mean, today, I think I asked two times yesterday, I had a lot of questions about things that I'm working on that I'm just not sure about, even like this next book. And it was so funny. I was like, no, no, it's gonna tell me Yes. About this idea for my book. And it was No, I did it five times, and it was like, No.

Laurie James  
Can we talk about the pendulum for a minute? Because that was really powerful. And I've done a lot of spiritual work. I've read a fair amount of books, you know, all the people you talked about, you know, Jack Kornfield, Eckhart, Tolle, I've read all of those books, or, you know, their primary books, or their best sellers, but I hadn't really done much pendulum work. And when we were in our mentoring class, and I don't have a pendulum, I've been looking for one, but you said to stand, can you walk us through how to do that, because I have used that now several times, and that was, it's a wonderful tool.

Julie Reisler  
It's an amazing tool, you know, I would say it's an old tool. Dousing is another term that people use, farmers used. Farmers used 1000, you know, hundreds of years ago, to know where to plant crops, what was the best land to use. So it's not, I like to redefine woo anyhow, is this wisdom of oneness. I don't see it as but there's actual you can read about dousing and pendulums. It's a real thing. So it's funny, I just bought a new necklace with one so I can wear it more. But I do have one on my desk. It's right here. And what you want to do, so ideally, you find a pendulum, and you would go to, you know, some sort of boutique or metaphysical shop, or somewhere where you can actually, like, I remember, I think I was in the illuminate Film Festival in Sedona, and I tried it, and it was like, immediately I just felt myself like, Oh, I feel connected. So ideally, but you could easily, you know, they have them in stores, on Amazon, you can, you can get them if you can't go in person. But what you want to do first, it's really, really important, is you want to establish yes and no. It is almost always the same for me, but it doesn't matter. Every time I use this, you need to establish a yes and no. So what you do? What I do is I hold it. I'll just show it for those that are watching, if they're listening, holding the pendulum like do. So it's due north underneath my hand, I have my hand open under it, and I'll just say, please show me a direct and clear yes. And so we'll see, oh, yeah, it's already going this is my typical Yes, you can see,

Laurie James  
I see it. It's moving forward and back in front of you.

Julie Reisler  
Yep. So my pendulum is not a reason to know. I sometimes waits. But I'll just say, please, please show me a clear and direct No, so we'll see what happens here.

Laurie James  
And now it's moving the other direction.

Julie Reisler  
and I'm not moving it right now, like my hand is not moving it, but you can see it moving, 

Laurie James  
Yep. 

Julie Reisler  
Okay, so it's back and forth, kind of like east to west and north and south is right? So we could ask a question. Do you have a question? We can I can do right here, real time.

Laurie James  
Oh, do I have a question? What is a good question? This is so real I can't answer that. I can't ask that question. Yeah, that might be a little too personal.

Julie Reisler  
Yes, that might be personal. Is there something about your next book or something? 

Laurie James  
Okay, should I write another book. 

Julie Reisler  
Okay, so we're going to ask this question. I'm going to ask, should Lori write another book? It's a strong Yes, 

Laurie James  
Really? 

Julie Reisler  
Now we'll do one more we'll do it one more time. I usually do two out of I usually do it two to three times. So I'll just, I'll hold it again. I'm not moving my hand, and I'll say, you know, should I would actually say, Would it be in the highest good for Lori to write another book?

Laurie James  
Let's do that. Would it do? I need to say it or

Julie Reisler  
No, no no, because I'm gonna Okay. So it's a very strong Yes, wow.

Laurie James  
Wow. 

Julie Reisler  
That's a really strong Yes, yeah. And if you want to ask one more question that you know is a no, then we can show how that works. So I'll just say, Does Laurie have a son? It's going now, very strong no, because Laurie has four daughters. Okay, so you see how I mean, I'm I play with this all the time. So that's just a little example. I use this all the time. I have it right here on my desk. I use it all the time.

Laurie James  
But, and here's the thing, though, we also did that with our bodies, and I have done. Because I don't have a pendulum, and that also can our bodies can work as the pendulum too. And you we can walk through the same process, right? We can walk through and establish what a yes and a no is with the body, and then ask a question. 

Julie Reisler  
By the way, I use this pendulum the day of the elections five times I kept using it. Yeah, it was, it was, it said yes. The whole spot, it was saying yes. So you know, but you gotta use you gotta do this yourself. Every Everyone listen, you gotta do this yourself, because it's important to establish this. And if you don't have a pendulum, you have the best pendulum of all. It's your body. So what I like to do standing, I think helps. You know, most of us, if we are in energetically aligned, most human beings, when you are a yes to something, this is natural. You don't have to even think about this. Typically, we lean forward. Just think about it. When you love someone, or you're excited, or there's a meal you like, you're like, you know, we tend to lean in. If there's somebody you feel not as connected to you don't trust their energy or like their energy. What do we typically do with our body? We tend to move away and back. So it's still a good idea to just establish yes and no, you know. And the easiest way to do that is you can put your hand on your heart. You can stand tall and just say, you know, is my name Lori. And you would say your name if you're listening and notice your body, even if it's not moving energetically, right? So when I say is my name, Lori, I can feel I'm moving back, because that's not my name for you. You know, you would hopefully feel like you're moving forward. And then if you say, is my name, John, it's a big no, right? And so you can use, you know, I like to ask these questions. If you notice I shifted it not should you write a book, but would it be in the highest good to write a book? That's an even stronger question. If you notice, the yes was even stronger with that time. 

Laurie James  
Yeah, and I like the way that you put that, because then it's giving it up to your higher power, to God, to the universe, or, you know, your own personal higher power, whatever everybody believes in. And I think that that's a beautiful guide for us, versus just, should I write another book in my highest interest, or is it in my highest good? I love that.

Julie Reisler  
So these are tools. I mean, I when I'm not sure about something, honestly today, when I'm asked to collaborate or participate in something, or go on this trip or do all of these questions I will ask either my body, you know, do body muscle testing, or the pendulum, or both, I really do. They have never steered me wrong. It just feels like such a wonderful tool. And what I love is it's connecting to your higher guidance. It's within you. So I'm not going outside of myself, not that I'm saying going outside of yourself is not a bad thing. It's just it's different than tuning into your own power. 

Laurie James  
Well, and that's it, because what might be good for somebody else, or if we are seeking advice from somebody else, that's their opinion, and they're putting their perspective on the situation and what they think is best for us versus what we truly think is best for ourselves. The other thing I wanted to add on intuition was last night, I listened to Malcolm Gladwell speak. I went to I'm part of a speaker series, and he talked about intuition because he's got a new book coming out, or it's actually out called Revenge of the tipping point it was came out in October. But what he talked about with intuition is, because he's a big believer in it, but he talked about experience, the combination of experience and intuition, and that's how, over time, we can continue to hone in on our intuition. Of like, has it worked in the past? And just, you know, our human experience while we're on this planet? 

Julie Reisler  
Absolutely, yeah, experience there's. One of the things I've learned long ago is, you know, knowledge, learning, trying to read and understand in the cerebral mind and the brain is very, very different than applying it, than having the experience of it. So looking a great exercise to do because, you know, intuition, and I love what he said, with experience, you know, go look at the past and just see, when have you felt your intuition there? Maybe it was to go on a date that ended up being the person you're with. Maybe it was, don't go and take this right? And you did, and there was an accident, or, you know, they're both how it's, you know, it's guided you in your life. I started to do that, and it was shocking. It was shocking. What I started to see, when I listened, when I didn't, what came. Through. I mean, whoa. And the best thing you can do is to do your own little bit of evidence, tracking yourself, look at your past and just see because that experience, and then, you know, being mindful of it going forward. And we all have intuition, it shows up. You know, that what I've seen like any relationship, the more I've paid attention to it, the more it's developed, like, in all different ways, you know, with images, with signs, literally signs, but also with a knowing, with a message, with it comes in all different ways. And we all have this ability. It's not just for some of us. This is like, you know, I always joke, like, batteries included. We're born with intuitive batteries included. You don't need to buy them, which is awesome,

Laurie James  
Right, right? But okay, so a lot of my listeners are either divorced, healing from a divorce, going through a divorce, or becoming a free bird after their kids have left the nest. How can we quiet that fear and really start, I know we talked about the pendulum, but how, from a very beginning standpoint, really start listening to that intuition more? I mean, we know we have it. It's the little nudges. We've talked about it being, you know, in the quiet, in the moments of meditation, or quiet mornings or the middle of the night, but how can we start trusting that voice more? And because it is scary, uncertainty is scary, and so our ego or our fearful side comes in that wants to protect us? 

Julie Reisler  
Yeah, I mean, I think what you're saying, the answer is, and what you're saying, first, we need to understand the ego, you know, is always going to want to keep you safe. The unfortunate thing is that what keeps you safe or what you fear, it doesn't mean that that's really for your highest good, right? And so going back to getting clear, you know, first of all, as powerful creators, you have to decide, I want to step into my highest good. I want to be a powerful creator. I want to be empowered. I don't want to be, you know, at the mercy of fear and ego. And let me tell you, the universe is going to give you some opportunities to play with that. When you say that that is expected, I think conversations like this are really important. Like any relationship, you've got to decide, I'm going to pay attention. I'm going to put my literal attention, my focus, my awareness, my will, my intention on developing this relationship for me, it happened organically. And then I started to see, oh my gosh, this is wild. I mean, it was it, the power of it, yeah, yeah. And it was like, Okay, I'm not alone. Like, and let me say this the reason, if you're on the fence about it, we have access to higher guidance, whether you call it the Holy Spirit or intuition, or divine guidance, or your higher self. It is here 24/7 and what I've seen and experienced is that everything is always. The only thing we can that we know is going to stay the same is change. Change. You know, the only people that love change are babies and people that work at stores. You know that are getting change back. Like most people don't love change. However, change is a constant, but there is in there is higher guidance at all times, 24/7, so you've got to decide I am willing to invest, invest. And by the way, your biggest resource is your time and your energy and your attention. And so that's the first thing. You've just got to decide, that would be the intention. I'm doing this. We're doing this. This is important to me. And then, like any relationship, invest your time. So make time to be quiet every morning, even if that's not sitting and meditating, go walk in nature. Put your phone down. We've got to put our phones down. You've got to put the alarms, the bells, the things like social media, put it down, the TV, off TV, all of it, so you can actually be in the moment, to hear it, sense it, feel it, know it. If you want to go the next step, I would say, start tracking it. You don't need any crazy, fancy anything. Take your we all have these our phones in your Notes section. Or, you know, you can do a spreadsheet. You could write it out. You could make a poster. But I started to do that, tracking these guidance, and it's just, you can't miss it. It's like we forget how incredible our bodies are because we don't think about it right the amount that's going on right now, as I'm talking to is absurd. Between your heart beating, your lungs are working, your digestion, your autonomic, I mean, millions of things going on, and we forget the sacred. But

Laurie James  
We live here. We live in our head, right? That's our society has taught us.

Julie Reisler  
You gotta flip it upside down, and you gotta decide, I am getting outside of this conditioning, this matrix of only in the head, no everything else. It's funny. I just connected, reconnected with the head scientists at Heart Math, you know, where they study heart rate variability and heart intelligence. And you know the 18 inches from your head to your heart is no joke now. And when I say heart, I don't just mean your heart. I mean also like this greater that is around the electromagnetic field of your heart. And that means you gotta start pausing. You gotta right, so, and that can, that can be a decision to just, you know, maybe you put in your calendar so you remind yourself, I'm gonna do this at lunch. I'm gonna do this when I wake up in the morning and I do this in the evening. You could start with even morning and evening, right? I'm gonna get quiet. Maybe I just ask myself, What do I need to know today? What would be in my highest good today? Maybe you get a little journal and you just write it down, or you ask yourself, or you do a voice memo. I mean, make it your own. But let me tell you, you take one step forward and you say, I'm willing to do this literally, the divine, the universe, is going to take about 100 steps towards you. You don't have to go crazy here. I mean, it's just waiting. But we have divine we have free will, you know. So it's up to us, right?

Laurie James  
It's the free will of you know, are we going to listen to that? Yeah, or are we going to stay in this place of fear?

Julie Reisler  
Yeah? And if you do go back to fear, the important thing I will say, and I'm a, as I said, a huge fan of what I love with the Course in Miracles. It's all about love and forgiveness. So you know, if you do go back to fear, forgive yourself, do not stay there condemning yourself, you're going to be in a cycle of fear, shame and guilt. And when you feel shame and guilt, we project it on other people, it's what we do. So you got to come back to forgiveness and yourself, and that's also going to shift your energy, your vibration, so it's really important. I think the sister to this is the practice of forgiveness, 

Laurie James  
Yeah. Forgiving yourself absolutely right? And that self compassion, because we are our own worst critic, for sure.

Julie Reisler  
We are our own worst critic. 

Laurie James  
I can make myself small any day. Yeah, I love myself

Julie Reisler  
easy, yo. That's easy. Give me something. I mean, that's that's like piece of cake, right? How many of us were taught to do it otherwise? You know, forgiving others is next. But I would say, start with yourself, because most of us are running around, shitting, shitting, shaming ourselves that that's the place to begin, for sure.

Laurie James  
Yeah, beautiful, thank you for sharing that. So changing the subject just a little bit. Can you just share a little bit about your definition of what spiritual bypassing is and how we can avoid falling into that, because I feel like that happens to all of us, or, you know, it's overriding our emotions, and, you know, not wanting to feel but also, there's this spiritual bypassing that happens that keeps us from experiencing things I think we need to go through to get to the other side.

Julie Reisler  
Yeah, I mean to me, spiritual bypassing is anytime we try to take an alternative route that is avoiding anything that's painful, upsetting, distressing, challenging by not feeling it, by addiction, not feeling it, denying it, pretending, trying to use massive positive positivity around it. All of these are ways to avoid. And what I'm already hearing now, the thing to understand is, first of all, if you're noticing you're doing that again, what I just said, Forgive yourself, compassion. Don't start don't put that on your list as well. And I gotta say, this was something I've had to go back and say, oh, wait a minute, I did not fully go through that. And it's very understandable. Why the heck would you want to go and experience something that you know is painful and uncomfortable, especially that brings up feelings of, you know, anger and jealousy and frustration and sadness and grief and despair. I'm sorry. There were times I'm like, I didn't sign up for that. I signed up for fun. I don't know what train you're on, but I was like, fun.

Laurie James  
Where's the fun? Just have gratitude for everything and not feel, I mean, I feel like that's a common thing that I hear and see people experiencing. I'm just going to be grateful for what I have and not focus on the hard stuff or the feeling. 

Julie Reisler  
So here's the thing, it's okay if you're doing that, just understand the. Way it's designed, you will have the lesson come back again until you process it or I love my father to pieces. I don't know if he's ever going to face these challenges fully. I just don't know. And he may not, and you'll have another lifetime to do it, however, and this is something you know. I know you know, as a coach, I teach in coaching, there is a philosophy called the both. And you can have gratitude, and you can also go in it, go in to the mess. You know, I know, with 12 step work, it's, it's all about you can't you have to go through there's no other option. And so, yeah, that's where we find friends, people, coaches, accountability partners, sponsors, the others on the path, that can hold our hand, that can cheer us on, that, you know, we do that for ourselves. That's where you start to learn to do that for yourself. But spiritual bypassing, just what I've seen is you can't really bypass your lesson. We have a lesson. I mean, I see it this way, which have our own curriculum, like our individual curriculum. 

Laurie James  
Yeah, I love that. I love that, that we have our own curriculum. 

Julie Reisler  
Yes, everyone's their own, just like our thumbprint. Fingerprint is completely unique. That's why comparing is a bad, bad idea. That is one of the areas for me. I've had to do a ton of work, and it's not comfortable. I was compared to a lot growing up, my mom didn't mean to, but it's just so I've had to learn how to forgive myself and her and go into that when I do compare myself, it feels horrible, and I've realized I'm not the only one. You might have done that. I bet you someone listening has compared themselves. We do that. 

Laurie James  
Of course, we do. We compare ourselves to our friends. We compare ourselves to, you know, other coaches who might be ahead of us. But instead of using that comparison as, you know, something as negative, how can we use that to be inspirational? And, you know, look at, I'm four years into this. You're 10 or 12 years into this. How can I look at you for inspiration of wow, look at what she's done with her coaching practice, and look at all the beautiful souls that she's touching and helping. And let that be a motivator for us. Or if somebody's listening and you know, they're going through a divorce, I'm on the other side. Let that inspire you to continue to grow and work through it and get to the other side, right? Because it is beautiful on the other side. I mean, does it mean that we don't have hard days and there's good and bad? 

Julie Reisler  
I think the other piece, Laurie, as you were speaking on like the other component of spiritual bypassing, the other piece that I've done a lot of work, and I know I think we've talked about this, is then there's the part of like, okay, if I am comparing like, holding love for myself, it's often the inner child, inner teen, that inner part of you that feels not good enough, and I holding her and just being that loving parent myself to that part of me and saying, I see you, you feel not good enough, and I remember when you felt that, and you are here, and I love you, and it's okay, and you can feel as crappy as you want about it. I'm not leaving like so we learn how to love and parent ourselves, because there's very few parents on the planet that just fully, I'm sorry. Got the memo like most are doing the best they can, but didn't get the memo. Most did not. Just did not. 

Laurie James  
And there are definitely things that I would do differently as a parent, knowing what I know now.

Julie Reisler  
Yes, absolutely. Oh my gosh, so many. And I'm like, Okay, here's the book for your therapist. Here's what you're going to probably work on, I know it.

Laurie James  
And here's some money to pay for the therapy. 

Julie Reisler  
Here's some funds to pay for it. And you bring me when you want. I'm ready. I got the book, I know.

Laurie James  
Oh, yeah. So the holidays are upon us, and I know we've covered a lot of topics, but if somebody's feeling like a little bit of a lost soul right now, do you have any tips of how they can, from a spiritual standpoint, kind of help themselves through the holidays a little less, a little bit easier. 

Julie Reisler  
Couple different things. Number one, first of all, I think what's really, really, really important is to affirm every day. The best way I know to do this is getting quiet, literally, put your hand on your heart and connect to the energy, the love, vibration and just even allowing yourself to feel, you know, I know I am love. I know I am loved. I choose to love myself. Anything you can say. You know, even the I know who I am. I do a lot of this. I bring in tapping and other things as well. But even just feel your heartbeat, you. And know you are loved and guided. You know God loves me like my ancestors around me love me. My higher self is with me. I am right where I'm supposed to be. These kinds of now, the affirmations you know I would say, if you're not feeling it, find one that you can say that you feel. It's a beautiful, powerful way to just anchor your hand on your heart again, it's very powerful, because we're connecting into literally, what's called heart intelligence, and you're anchoring to something that's not your brain, it's your heart, compassion, loving energy. I also would find people in friends, people that you're close with, to ask your friends. Tell them I need a little more support. Would you mind? Could we just, I'm an emoji guy, I just love them. Could I, like, bookend, like, send you a text before and after event, or could we just text a little bit more in the holidays? Maybe even adding like, a little extra, like, holiday cheer, maybe some of the emoji, like, you know, could we just check in more ask for what you need ask and don't be a martyr like ask people. Maybe you make plans hard, but yeah, so important, so important. Make plans you know for yourself to do things that are loving. It doesn't have to be expensive, but treating yourself to a yummy tea and snack, to a massage, to a walk around the lake or the beach, there were-

Laurie James  
Just a small gathering with some friends for the holidays that you really love and you know are loving to you

Julie Reisler  
Absolutely, I think. I mean, there's so many other things, but I think stay close to who's around you and you love and you trust, and if there's not a lot of people around you physically, you know, do a zoom, call a FaceTime ask, can we just check in more or check in more yourself and ask for what you need? By the way, it's a gift. You're being of service. Because every time I do this, the person on the other end is like, I needed that. So that can be helpful for those of us that are like, Oh, I feel really bad. No, no, no, you're it's an act of service. 

Laurie James  
I feel like a burden. Or, yeah, because we need that human connection, we are wired for connection, and I think it's even more important during the holidays, especially if you're going through a hard time, or you've recently had a loss or your family is in disarray, or your kids have left, you know. And as some of our kids are getting older too, it's like they're spending time with their significant others families too, and that's an adjustment as well. 

Julie Reisler  
Absolutely, what I'm hearing is, think of it like a volume. You want to crank up the volume on self care and self love. If it's loving, do it. If it's loving, kind, nurturing, nourishing, do it. That's what I would say. And it could be free. It doesn't have to cost a lot. It could be things that you do that are you pay for. But certainly I would ask everything through that question of, is this loving? 

Laurie James  
Yeah. And check in with your body. Does it feel loving? Not do I think it's loving, but do I feel it in my body? With, will this feel loving to myself? 

Julie Reisler  
Yes, exactly, absolutely, 100% by the way, that question will always steer you, always steer you in the right place. And it's very connected to your intuition, because love, joy, these are the that's the energy, that's where our Higher Power lives, is love and joy. So seriously, watch what also changes when you do that. It's very healing and very powerful to ask that question. 

Laurie James  
Beautiful. Thank you for sharing that, and we've covered so much. But is there one additional confession or one other thing you want to share with our listeners before we come to an end?

Julie Reisler  
Oh, boy, I have so many confessions I'm like. Which one do I bring? Um? I which confession Do I like? Well, you know, it's interesting. I had a situation today, and this is actually perfect for spiritual bypassing. I have chosen I really didn't learn how to handle anger, and I had a situation today with a former appointment with a physician, and they didn't tell me about this charge. I was really upset because I'm like, this lacks integrity. You didn't tell me, and it wasn't a lot of money, but it was the principle. And I was like, I'm not okay with how this is handled, and I'm not gonna spread malicious, you know, gossip, that's not the way I roll. But like, you should know, I was really upset, and after the call, I mean, I paid for the service, the third service that I was not told about. Anyhow, I was so angry. And I'm like, You know what? I got a plastic bat for this reason, and I hit our bed and I felt so much better, like 10 times. And I was like, I don't know if I broke our bed or not, but that's okay. And I was like, good job, Julie, you actually used your back, because I usually forget it's there, and it really helped. I was actually thinking of you. I'm like, I'm getting this out of my body. And it was. So freeing. And then I said, it's okay. I'm gonna let go. I was upset with her. She knew that I wasn't rude, but I was and I'm like, It's okay that I have anger. It's okay.

Laurie James  
But somatically, you completed that fight response that you were feeling right, and you released it, and you didn't target at somebody else, you took care of it on your own, right? Because otherwise, what happens in those situations, if we let it build up and not complete that fight response, then we end up taking it out on other people, right? And that's- 

Julie Reisler  
Exactly or ourselves, which, for me, that's right, this was, this in itself. Was a, it's a huge feat for me, huge feat like, yay. I found something if I can share really quickly, because this might be helpful for your listeners. You know, we've talked about so many different aspects of loving yourself and intuition, and I was just going to say, you know, if anyone listening, you are such an expert with anything somatic. One of the things I do teach is learning how to become not just a life coach, but Intuitive Life Coach, like how to honor your intuition. And I know you'll have information on it. It's high integrity, it is. And there's now the the intuition piece that's added. So it's something that, if someone's listening and they're like, I want help with that, it might be something that they'd be interested in?

Laurie James  
Yeah, absolutely. And how long does your coach Academy go for? Or how long is the program?

Julie Reisler  
So it is designed for busy adult learners. So we do it in four months. But I will tell you, we do meet twice a week. It ends up being a little about three hours a week of meeting. Everything is also recorded. You have lifetime access to everything. There is a ton of resources because I teach. You know, we have a I have my sacred coach approach. You learn how to do group coaching. You learn discovery calls. There's the marketing aspect, there's a lot, but really my concern is becoming masterful coaching, one on one, and then groups which you could use and retreats and masterminds and things like that. But we do meet twice a week. It is four months. So it's the end of January, january 30, until May 15. And then intuition school is part of that of your enrollment, and that is done on the same time. So you will be reviewing it, and we do integrate that into what you're learning. It's from what I hear from everyone that's done it, you really shift the way that you interact and love yourself, and then how you help others to do that, you can. 

Laurie James  
We have to do the work ourselves first before we can help others, right? 

Julie Reisler  
You will be doing some work. Let me just Yeah. This is not like a become a coach in three days, and it is similar. It has the same hours you would need for ICF. You can actually apply towards the portfolio path of ICF. I'm ICF certified. I also have my National Board of Health and Wellness Coaching. I mean, as a teacher at Georgetown, I have to, but it follows the same the hours. It's actually more than actually you would need, but you follow. You take the hours if you someone wanted to be ICF certified

Laurie James  
so they they could take this program and be ICF certified if they wanted to, 

Julie Reisler  
right, apply for it through the portfolio path. 

Laurie James  
Yep, that's beautiful. And I know other coaches who have come out of your program that I've had on my podcast too, Kathy Batista and one or two others. So I completely endorse Julie and her program, and if I wasn't already certified, I would definitely go through the program myself, because I love bringing that combination of coaching. We have to be intuitive as coaches, but even if you don't want to be a coach, there's so much growth that happens through a coaching training program, and I know that you are so experienced and talented that anybody who went through the program would benefit tremendously. So 

Julie Reisler  
Thank you, Laurie, I will say you will be in excellent hands. And it's a very it's almost like a boutique experience. It's not, you know, it's something myself and our mentor coaches, we are like in it, hand holding with you. It's life changing. I mean, people have had complete shifts in their relationships, in their marriages, with their children, with them. I mean, their life, their health. You're you're not as in the best way. You're not the same person in the four months after so 

Laurie James  
If any of you mid lifers, or if you're kind of out there surf soul searching. This is definitely your calling. I definitely consider looking into it, and I'll have that link in the show notes. So thank you so much, Julie, for your time today. I love everything that you're doing and all the beautiful souls that you're touching, including mine. And. And I hope you'll come back and visit another time. 

Julie Reisler  
Laurie, thank you so much. I'm so grateful, and it's beautiful just to see you in your full, fullest, your your fullest potential, and just honored to be here again. Thank you. 

Laurie James  
Yeah, thank you. 

Laurie James  
Thank you for listening to this episode of Confessions of a Freebird. I'm grateful to be in your ears and hearts. If you're interested in becoming a free bird, I'd love to support you. Please check out my website at laurieejames.com to learn how we can work together, or to sign up for my newsletter so you can receive tips on how to date and relationship differently and ultimately, find more freedom and joy in your life. If you found this podcast helpful, please follow or subscribe, rate and review and share it with friends so they can find more freedom in their second or third act. Also until next time.